In my internet travels I came across a couple women sharing just how incredibly burdensome it was to take care of their husbands with depression.
I just know what I read but something seemed off about their words. They painted their husbands as a standalone source of dysfunction in the house. But if you poked a little bit further you could see there were other problems. One of the women was a recovered alcoholic. Both put too much of the family’s dirty laundry out there.
I’ve been down that journey with my parents and even my sister in my younger years. This was before my sister started drinking and was still the oh so perfect child. But as I deduced later I just represented one portion of our family’s dysfunction which manifested itself in depression in my early twenties. During that period I was the one who needed to fix herself, not anyone else. My family didn’t like me fixed though because I began to speak up and assert myself more often.
I wondered if I am burdensome to my family. I try to be the best parent I can be, but I’ve had failures. This month was terrible workwise, but I generally miss very few days of work. I shower, do the laundry, make home cooked meals try to attend to all that is needed of a wife and mother. I cracked wide open this month, but then went back to trudging through everyday life, with the new challenge of attempting to help my aging mother.
I have no doubt that having a depressed spouse can be challenging. Describing your depressed spouse as a burden helps no one though