Summer Snippets…Odd Woman Out

My mother is aging and she needs more help.  She is trying to bounce back after a hospital stay.  In our own way we are each trying to help her.  It is scary to travel on the interstate to see your mom so much you barely remember your trip, you are so busy thinking of all of the family drama.

My sister wants to make this a contest.  She has done so much, according to her.  She perhaps has done a little more than me, but I want to scream YOU ARE GETTING PAID by mom to help out.  I don’t expect to get paid, but I sure don’t appreciate your martyr complex when you keep leaving that detail out.

Sister says she has been spending hours upon hours cleaning.  I’m not sure where those hours were spent as the kitchen sink, the refrigerator, stove all have a coat of scum on them.  Perhaps a coat of scum that my mother just does not see anymore or doesn’t have the energy to care about. Maybe my sister doesn’t clean her own kitchen…who knows.  So while she has a temper tantrum, I clean the kitchen. My sister has trashed the part of the house she is staying in. Hopefully when my sister picks all her crap up from the floor, my mother won’t notice that a room that had stayed pristine over the years now has a stained carpet.  WTF.

There is a weird dance between my sister and I.  She has been lashing out at everyone and anyone because she feels left out.  She is mad that her life choices have put her in a place where she is in a financial mess, so god forbid anyone have more opportunities than she does.  Yet she seems to forget that between the three of us, my mom, my sister and I, it is I who have been left out.  Whether my sister and mom are getting along or not, they have always been in constant contact….not so for me.

I’d like to think my sister is staying sober.  Even if she is sober, it seems like her brain has changed over the years in a way I no longer understand.  She is paranoid about hurts others have inflicted on her, but seems to have almost no memory of her behaviors.

You would think after decades on earth together, we would have this family thing figured out.

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7 thoughts on “Summer Snippets…Odd Woman Out”

  1. Oh no 💜💜. WTF indeed? Why must other people make everything a contest? You are a lovely and kind person, and I admire what you’ve done and are doing for your mom. It’s so hard to watch loved ones age and it’s harder yet when others introduce drama. I’m standing beside you, for whatever it’s worth 🌺🌷🌺💓💓

    Liked by 1 person

      1. I can only, only imagine 💙. I can relate a little, as both my parents were brain-damaged in a near-fatal car wreck. So many changes in them since then. It’s hard to reach them. It’s hard to get to know the “New” Them, both in terms of confusion (on my part) and in terms of it being emotionally painful/uncomfortable 💜. I didn’t intend to make this about me; I just wanted to let you know you’re not entirely alone 💟💟

        Liked by 1 person

  2. This is such a familiar scenario and I don’t think families ever figure it out – they bury it for a while and when something comes up – like your mom needing help – the old stuff just reemerges. I have felt the kind of righteous rage you express. Sounds like your sister is the consummate victim – that is hard to take when you have worked to put your life together. All the best to you through this difficult time.

    Liked by 2 people

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