I’m with my daughter and we are going to meet my mom and my sister.  When I see them, I’m surprised for they are both wearing clothes that are notably soiled, why I don’t know.

Perhaps my mom can’t see well enough to tell her clothes are soiled.  My mom’s clothes are old and not in good repair.  She’s never worn dirty clothes before though.  Her hair, which in her mind is supposed to be some sort of statement to the world, is badly dyed and not really styled.  She won’t give up coloring her hair, but she won’t let a professional do it. On this particular day her grey roots really show in contrast with the harsh color of the hair dye.  She has limited ability to style her hair anymore, and today it just looks messy.  Still that doesn’t stop her from choosing what she sees as a “young” hairstyle.

My sister also has soiled clothes.  Who knows why.  I’m guessing she still drinks heavily and that clean clothes aren’t a priority.  I don’t think she was drinking the day I saw her.  Her clothes look like they haven’t been changed for days.  Little bits of crusty stuff are attached to her pants, and her shirt has a noticeable grease spot.

There are pictures of my mom where she practically looks like a model.  Her hair and clothes used to be impeccable at least in many of the pictures I saw of her as a young woman and young mom.  The ravages of too much drinking haven’t caught up with my sister yet, she is still attractive when she tries.  I don’t think I have ever been as attractive as my mom and sister when they are at their best.  But I can also say I make sure to wear clean clothes with no holes in them.  I’d never think about going out in public without some minimal amount of grooming and care with my appearance.

My mom has plenty of money, so that is not the issue.  It wasn’t so much their appearance that bothered me, but perhaps the reasons they looked as they did.  I’m sure my daughter noticed.  I didn’t comment about their appearance to my daughter, whatever I would have said wouldn’t have come out right.

When I first thought about making this situation into a blog post, something nagged at me.  Was there a greater meaning in this situation I was supposed to extract?  A lesson of some sort?  Should I be looking in the mirror at my own flaws instead of the flaws of others?

 

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