My sister is down in the dumps. When I talk to her on the phone it is hard to know if she is sober or not. I’ve written before that she has a long history with alcoholism. Her partner is someone who also struggles to stay sober. He does nothing to make her life better but she would never admit that.
She’s is tearful. She is broke. She can’t do this or that because she is broke. Sometimes she wants to argue. Other times she wants to blame her past and current relationship with our mother. Our father though was the one with the alcoholism, he is dead though, and I think my sister just wants to pick apart my mother.
My mother is far from perfect. Conversing with my sister though, I just can’t go down the road of blaming my mother for all of my sister’ s present day problems. I suppose I have lost my patience.
I wish I knew how to help my sister. Nothing will change until she can get herself sober. After that she needs to change what she can. I’m perhaps amazed that my sister wants to blame where her life is today on our mother. She can’t look in the mirror and see that is the repeated bad choices that she has made that have brought her to where she is today.
Looking in the mirror and taking ownership of the bad along with the good is difficult. I know because I struggle with truly owning the bad along with the good at times as well.