As a female I’ve often had an ambivalent attitude about beauty and the expectations of femininity in our society.  Some days I’m fully engaged in putting on makeup,  styling my hair and cultivating a certain attitude…other days not so much.  In a previous blogging life I used to sometimes write ab out the the intersection of gender and religion, and how male and female roles are defined.  This post draws on that.

As I stand in front of the mirror, working on my eyes, the thought strikes me that I don’t feel like putting on eyeliner today.  Not only do I not want to put on eyeliner, I’m going to fly through the rest of my daily routine.  I simply don’t feel like wearing the complete mask today.  So it will just be a bit of light eyeshadow and some mascara for the eyes..nothing more.

As I finish blowdrying my hair, I think I will just leave it straight today.  I won’t bother trying to coax a curl out of it.  The natural look will do for today.

I finish dressing and put on just a light spritz of perfume.  I like to smell good.  I won’t leave that bit of artifice behind.

I arrive at work.  I am a bit drained today.  I don’t have the energy to used honeyed tones with my coworkers to get them to do the job they were hired to do.  If they need a bit of correction, I don’t feel like using the sandwich method to deliver the message.  If you don’t know what the sandwich method is it is putting the message of what needs to be fixed in between two compliments.  No thank you, I wish to be straight and direct today.

When I woke up in the morning I saw myself as God made me.  Somewhere along the line I became confused by a message that tells me being female is about masking the real me.