Forgive and Forget, or Hold a Grudge Instead?

Today’s writing prompt asks us if we hold grudges, or do we try to forgive and forget?  It was my family’s style to hold grudges for a very long time.  I try not to spend much mental energy holding grudges…my family used to spend hours rehashing all the details about how someone had wronged them.  I was expected to participate in the grudge holding as well.  If they hated someone..well I should as well.

I try to forgive, but then move on.  I don’t think forgiveness always means that you put yourself in a situation to be hurt again. It doesn’t mean you put your full trust in assuming that person will act in good faith in the future. It might mean that you change the way you negotiate the relationship with the person who hurt you…of course this doesn’t apply to minor transgressions.

 

 

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5 thoughts on “Forgive and Forget, or Hold a Grudge Instead?”

  1. You make some good points…that would apply to those worthy.

    But there’s mean and arrogant peeps who will never learn to be sensitive as long as others keep tolerating them. I say Eff them…and let learn about permanent losses that are irretrievable.

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  2. We forgive for ourselves so that we can move past the event. We don’t forgive for others because we cannot change other people’s behavior. I agree with you that holding grudges only hurts the person holding the grudge. People move on and we only hurt ourselves.

    It is best to remember the event and move on and slot people where we need to. Sometimes, we have to move on from people and utilize the betrayal or transgression as a learning experience.

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    1. “Slot people where we need to ” I agree with that. I have learned to do that with my sister who is an alcoholic. I react to her as she is, not as I hope she would be.

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      1. Yes, it is difficult as we often want to change people. That realization that we can’t is often hard to come to terms with.

        I have had to let go of people that I was once very close to as well. I am sorry to hear of your sister. I hope she is able to improve her situation soon.

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