For the last 17+ years, my life has been structured around parenting, marriage and my job.  In my work there is plenty of structure to keep me going.  I’m not sure I could ever be the self-employed sort, I am a terrible procrastinator.  Outside of work, family life keeps me pretty busy with laundry, making meals, chauffeur duties and all of those other tidbits of family life.

There is a part of me that craves the downtime though, perhaps to take a nap or have a bit of time alone.  It is those empty spaces of time, though that sometimes give me the most trouble.  Should I be reading a book?  Going to the gym?  Surfing the net?  Napping? There is often the conflicted feelings of feeling I should do something, but wanting to do absolutely nothing at all.

If I manage to write a post every day in November(as has been my goal) it will be a bit of small victory for me.  I’m not always good at making a goal and following through with it.  Maybe I should be inspired to set some smaller goals and trying to follow through with them for the month of December, just to show myself I can actually do it.  I know my lack of direction in this part of my life probably contributes to my depression in a way.

Making a goal to get to the gym in December on a regular basis would be a good start.  Heaven knows the time for outside exercise is now past…at least for me.  Seeing results from making a small change such as going to the gym would be a good thing, it would boost my mood in preparation of the after Christmas slump I usually feel.

Here’s to turning the empty spaces in my life into something with more meaning.

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