For the last 17+ years, my life has been structured around parenting, marriage and my job. In my work there is plenty of structure to keep me going. I’m not sure I could ever be the self-employed sort, I am a terrible procrastinator. Outside of work, family life keeps me pretty busy with laundry, making meals, chauffeur duties and all of those other tidbits of family life.
There is a part of me that craves the downtime though, perhaps to take a nap or have a bit of time alone. It is those empty spaces of time, though that sometimes give me the most trouble. Should I be reading a book? Going to the gym? Surfing the net? Napping? There is often the conflicted feelings of feeling I should do something, but wanting to do absolutely nothing at all.
If I manage to write a post every day in November(as has been my goal) it will be a bit of small victory for me. I’m not always good at making a goal and following through with it. Maybe I should be inspired to set some smaller goals and trying to follow through with them for the month of December, just to show myself I can actually do it. I know my lack of direction in this part of my life probably contributes to my depression in a way.
Making a goal to get to the gym in December on a regular basis would be a good start. Heaven knows the time for outside exercise is now past…at least for me. Seeing results from making a small change such as going to the gym would be a good thing, it would boost my mood in preparation of the after Christmas slump I usually feel.
Here’s to turning the empty spaces in my life into something with more meaning.